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Entries for March, 2005

March 3rd, 2005

Grounded, for now

Posted by guia at 01:25 PM on March 3, 2005.

First, let me just say that Pasay City is a pedestrian's nightmare. I will not live there if I can help it.

Yesterday turned out to be rather enlightening. Among other things, I realized I'm not meant to go out of the country anytime soon. Because of some unfinished business? Or maybe I really need to take my MA in UP...

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Another reason to smile

Posted by guia at 04:39 PM on March 3, 2005.

I received my 3 kyuu certification 15 minutes ago. That was the most wonderful thing that came in the mail since the Christmas package my mom sent me in Behia.

Doumo arigatou gozaimashita, sensei.

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March 4th, 2005

Let's learn Nihongo!

Posted by guia at 02:10 PM on March 4, 2005.

Here are a few useful phrases.

Is this your property? -- Arimoto?
Yes, this is my property. -- Arikoto.
Is this yours? -- Sayobato?
This is mine. -- Sakinitu.
Can I have it? -- Akinato?
You can have it. -- Sayonato (singular.)
Can we have it? -- Aminato?
You can have it. -- Sanyonato (plural.)
You haven’t washed your face. -- Mimutamatamo.
You’ve grown so thin! -- Kitanabutomo
We saw each other. -- Kitakami.
We had a big get-together. --Kitakitakami.
Have a drink before you go. -- Tomakamuna.
That was my assumption. -- Inakarako.
Let’s go quickly! -- Bachi-na-yota!
We will boycott the election. -- Kaminoboto.
Underarm odor. -- Kirikiri obans
Are you a victim of discrimination? -- Minamatakaba?
I give up. -- Sukonako.
Ouch! -- Haraiku!
What a sad life it is. -- Hainaku.
I’m going to leave you. -- Sawanako
Just take it! -- Sayonarang!
You are very thin! -- Purobuto!
You look like your mom/dad! -- Kamukamumamamu or Kamukamupapamu!
He/she looks like you. -- Kamukamu.
Are you nervous? -- Kakabakaba?
Are you a loyal customer? -- Sukikaba?
Later. -- Sakana
I surrender. -- Sukunako.
Just surrender. -- Sukunakasi
Remember? -- Araramo?
I remember. -- Ararako.
Go and work! -- Ararona!
I have a lot of things to do. -- Hironako!
Is this your car? -- Otomoto?
Is this my car? -- Otokoto?
Is this your noodles? -- Mamimoto?
I’ll take this. -- Kukuninkoto.
This is my desk. -- Itodesko!
Speechless? - Wasabe?
An ampalaya (bittermelon). -- Kurukurubot
What are your thoughts? -- Kuru-kuromo?
I am thinking. -- Munimuniako
Are you playing the guitar? -- Gigitaraka?
Is this your underwear? -- Jakeemoto?
You’re crazy! -- Sirauromo!
You’re drooling! - Turorawayka!
What’s so funny? - Tawakajan?
Currently feeling: insane

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March 8th, 2005

Mata ne, Fumi-san

Posted by guia at 06:32 PM on March 8, 2005.

Kyou wa Fumi-san ga nihon e kaetta. Yuube Fumi-san no homusutei no kazoku ni paatii o shite moratte, watashi wa Fumi-san no hoka no tomodachi to Fumi-san ni shoutai shite moratta. Shiranai nihonjin mo firipinjin o shiriatta. Tanoshikatta desu.

Demo kamera ga motteinakattan desukara, shashin o toranakuteshimatta. Tsk. Tsk. Tabun denki meeru de tomodachi ni okutte morau deshou.

Watashi wa M.A. koosu ga mada kimenakatta. Dou shiyou ka na... Kigen wa shigatsu goro. Hmm. Kore kara taihen isogashikunaru ne. Ganbaru ne.

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March 10th, 2005

Posted by guia at 03:51 AM on March 10, 2005.

I do not have the gift of eloquence nor the talent for weaving magic with words. I am not one to inspire people through speeches and lengthy oratories, rather I try to lead by example. Hence, I can only significantly influence the people I come in contact with.

Suffice it to say, I am thankful there are others who are more articulate than I.

True, there are times when it's easier for me to just turn my back to my country, to just focus on myself and my family's well-being. But my life would be wasted if I don't dedicate it to something bigger than myself.

Many thanks to Ms. Maoi Arroyo for continuing to have faith in her countrymen.
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Thank God, I’m a Filipino!
The desperately unpopular view of our country from an urban curmudgeon

Another year is going by, and as I do each day I am privileged to draw breath, I thank God once again for His funky sense of humor and His attention to detail. Everyday, I find myself thinking: Thank God, I’m a Filipino!

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! Heir to the genius of Rizal, the words of Recto, the spirit of Bonifacio, the diplomacy of Sultan Kudarat, the eloquence of Tañada, the bravery of Sakay and Tandang Sora, the style of Moreno and Natori, the voice of Andion Fernandez, the art of Amorsolo and Manansala, the science of Zara and Velasquez, and the exquisite bounty of nature that we never seem to have logged or polluted to shreds.

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! Vibrantly alive in this vortex of the surreal, where penitents shed blood, decorations are made from rice and nacre, pride in one’s children is broadcast from the trunks of taxi cabs and the mudguards of jeepneys, where people offer you food as a reflex and bow low if they have to pass between two people (or between you and the TV).

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! With a diverse culture that is as colorful and as full of flavor as the halo-halo. Here you can get music from Europe and America, anime from Japan, telenovellas from Korea and Mexico, and pirated versions of everything. Here we have a thriving population: 40% of them singers and dancers, 20% of them vocal impersonators and back-up dancers, which still leaves 16.8 million Pinoys who are better off as audience members!

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! With over-protective, incredibly conservative, “wat kind of a girl comes home at dis time op da nite”, wonderfully flawed and uniquely great parents; with a never-ending stream of relatives; with “Manang” and “Kuya”, with“po” and “opo”; with cantankerous and loving grandparents who would not think twice about conking me on the head with their baston if they thought I was misbehaving; with an extended family by joy and tears if not by blood: our staff, our friends, our colleagues.

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! For every bad habit you can name, the other side of the coin is a good one. The only difference is the edge of the coin, which I call discernment and balance. Pinoys love their families and like to get good deals for their friends, which sometimes leads to nepotism and corruption, but is also responsible for filial piety and expansive business networks. Pinoys are ingenious and resourceful, which sometimes leads to intricate schemes and plots, but also leads to creativity and innovation. Pinoys are ambitious, which sometimes leads to crab mentality, but can also fuel our successes. Pinoys take everything personally and are loyal to individuals – not concepts, which leads to a lack of civic duty and nationalism. But if we extended our definition of the family or clan to include the entire nation, we would rule the world. Call me whatever you like and laugh at me for my optimism; but I assert that Filipinos are a wonderful, if ill-disciplined, people.

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! Because if you want to find someone who can do something well and quickly, it will be a fellow Pinoy – someone who is too busy catering to the demands of his boss, his spouse, his kids, his sprawling extensive family, his barkada, and has a side-line selling used mobile phones to boot. This is the kind of person who will do acceptable work in the most expedient manner possible. And he can do so with limited or no funds, electricity, water and computers!

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! While in England, people thought I was loving – simply because I didn’t confine my affection to dogs and horses. While in America, people thought I was cute and “too nice” – simply because I was short and treated others with respect. And now in Manila, people are so unused to a reasonable level of initiative, efficiency, accountability, compassion, and the open declaration of a win-win agenda that I have fooled other people! Were I of any other nationality, I would be mediocre; in Manila, I am a refreshing oddity.

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! One of 84 million curmudgeons who laugh because it is too painful not to, who know we will never have a fiscal crisis because it would run counter to the oligarchy’s interests, who know that we should never drive around at 4pm lest we run into hungry traffic cops, who know that our government is corrupt and our countrymen are petty, but find ourselves donating to relief efforts, paying taxes and helping each other out anyway. The idiotic optimism of our people is responsible for paying for my high school education and subsidizing my six years in college. The knowledge I learned – both in success & failure, within the classroom and outside it – enabled me to study abroad.

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! Because speaking of idiotic optimism, if there’s one other thing that Pinoys have in common its insanity. Don’t believe what the media tells you – bad news sells. There is a large and growing number of people who are not only crazy enough to stay here, they actually love it! Who else but a Pinoy could thrive in the Philippines? Lunatics like my long-suffering teachers, unsung and paid a pittance their entire careers, but dearer to me than I could ever express. Basket-cases in the public sector: rural doctors, honest government workers (they do, indeed, exist); Weirdos in the private sector: the charities and foundations, the Brain Gain Network, thousands of enlightened entrepreneurs and business owners. Senseless acts of kindness and honor happen everyday and an incredible amount of money is made honestly in this country; unheralded and unnoticed by all.

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! Our unfinished revolutions – which are actually grand parties where fictional speeches are made, singing, dancing and prayer go on into the night and you invite everyone via text to participate – are a remarkable display of democracy. A democracy that may not be working very well, but saves us from being invaded in the name of “liberation”. A democracy that preys on its own people and will eventually force everyone to wake up, keep praying (and complaining) but CHANGE. Eventually it will be so detestable that we will realize that to try to change the system is like trying to boil the ocean, but to change ourselves (pain in the butt that it is) is the only solution. Thank God, that you drive us so relentlessly towards personal responsibility and integrity. Without the avarice and incompetence around us, we would remain the teenagers of the earth: possessors of freedoms we misuse and abuse, civic duties we neglect, and consciences we openly deride.

Thank God, I’m a Filipino! Thank God we suffer so! No nation or individual in the entire course of human history has become great without suffering. Thank God for the pollution, the crime, the poverty, the squalor and the misery. Thank God for all the people who moan and bitch and complain, thank God for all the people who pray and weep and proclaim: “Something has to change!”

Filipinos are not grateful or optimistic, we hate ourselves because we see nothing good in our country. We laugh because it would hurt too much not to, we complain because it would be too risky to act.
So we should make it a point to remember our history and teach it to others. Not merely our centuries old struggle against colonialism but also the more recent fight for justice, fairness and prosperity. We should visit the newly re-opened Ayala Museum, and take our kids with us. We should pass on good news, and there is a lot of it to be found! Though the infidelities of artistas are more newsworthy than the years of hard work of Dr. Carmencita Padilla and our Lingkod Bayan awardees or the laudable conduct of our relief and rescue workers, there is more good news than bad. The bad news is just more fashionable. But something has to change first!

Filipinos have no self-discipline, we do not follow the rules because no one else does.
So we must do the right thing, adhere uncompromisingly to our moral standards. We cannot control the behavior of others, but we can control what we do. We are a country rich in faith, both in quality and in diversity, but whether we proclaim the Apostle’s Creed or the Shahada, there is one thing I’m sure we would all agree on: If we are only good because of fear of punishment and hope for reward, then the faith we posess is hollow. If we were better Catholics, Christians, Moslems, Hindus, Jews and Buddhists; we would be better Filipinos. If we were to say: “I do the right thing and I do it for myself, no matter what the conduct of others”, then you would see a renaissance. But something has to change first!

Filipinos are petty
, so we must stop being petty ourselves. We have shot down ideas and shut down programs, not because of their quality but because they were born in the minds and built by the hands of a rival or a predecessor. Our definition of success is individualistic, even though our own history teaches us that no radical change has ever occurred in this country that did not incorporate the goals of the powerful with the goals of the many. The government cannot be depended on, so we must think of public-private partnerships, of entrepreneurship for economic development. But something has to change first!

Filipinos are corrupt; our government is incorrigible, our children are gambling, cheating each other on Ragnarok, addicted to whatever drugs they can afford, our graduates do not meet the standard of education that industry requires;
so we must donate to our schools, both public and private. We must give back to teachers the luster of their profession and the dignity that comes with a proper salary. We must think of win-win situations, of living in integrity. But something has to change first!

That something is me.

That something is you.


So to hell with what the world, the media, the millions of cynics may say! Because “yes, the Filipino can” and soon the Filipino will! I refuse to lose hope in the Filipino, because I refuse to lose hope in my family and friends, I refuse to lose hope in myself. Thank God, I can change. Thank God, I can work, inspire, lead, act and care!

Whatever else the future brings, thank God, thank God I’m a Filipino!

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March 14th, 2005

Some of the things I learned in field school

Posted by guia at 07:47 PM on March 14, 2005.

How to...

1. drink several full shots of gin and appear sober... until I have to stand up and my swagger betrays me;

2. speak Bicol (Magallanes) when among Bicolanos. My accent is awful, but they somehow manage to understand me;

3. get a score of "00" on videoke. However, I was able to redeem myself with a "98" last night... three years later;

4. don on a disguise to keep the male locals away, act stern to shoo the kids off, and use whatever feminine charms I have, sparingly, to get the information I need; and

5. keep sober longer by volunteering to be the tanggera.
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Our field director celebrated the "24th anniversary of his 27th birthday" yesterday. I arrived a little late, the print on the balloons outside his gate threw me off and I wandered around the street for about eight minutes. It was a good thing they didn't bother to keep their voices down, though, I wouldn't have found them otherwise.

After several songs and shots of Gilbeys, pelèk and bayâ, I bade our director and his other guests goodbye, and then tried to make my way towards the nearest waiting shed. "Tried" because I got lost again. I went up and down the same street twice before I realized I missed the first turn. I blame that on the alcohol. :D

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March 26th, 2005

A little something for the Lenten Season

Posted by guia at 09:46 AM on March 26, 2005.

A reflection from The Good Shepherd, according to Jonette:

"We human beings make strange sheep. We can't see beyond two inches, and we think we know the whole field like the skin of our noses. I guess that's why He hopes we listen, and we listen good."

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Wahaha! Sheep.
Currently feeling: mean

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March 28th, 2005

Suffering helps build character...

Posted by guia at 01:59 PM on March 28, 2005.

But so do morons and selfish people. They (unknowingly) test how far you can go without slipping small amounts of poison in their food... or burning all of their clothes.

I will be calm. I will be nice. They haven't learned all they can yet.

But it's tiring to hope that people you've known all your life would change just because a baby is born.

"Hayaan mo muna akong mag-enjoy sa pagkabinata." This line, said by my cousin to the mother of his child, sums up his character and his 23 years on earth. Disgusting, I know. Although, it doesn't directly concern me, so I shouldn't be bothering myself with his bullshit. But I live with someone who's going through the same stages my cousin did, and his character is mostly defined by this line, "Wala akong pakialam. Galit ako sa mga nakikialam." And it was, of course directed at me for trying to talk (just talk) to his then unpregnant girlfriend, for telling him what an asshole he is for placing a big part of his responsibilities on my parents, for not giving him the kind of respect he thinks he deserves. My brother hates meddlesome people, so that means everyone who lives inside this house. Yet he imposes himself on everyone. He displaced my parents' stuff to make way for his little family. He still asks money from my mother for his education and other needs, too-- not that my parents can say no to a baby. But what irks me the most is how he makes it sound like everyone's against them, and the way he tells his stories on how he triumphs over his detractors is equally irritating. He doesn't like my cousin, he's made that clear many times before, and it's probably because he sees himself in him and doesn't like what he sees. (But of course he'll deny that.)

When I said my brother needed a crisis in his life to propel him to change, like getting someone pregnant, I didn't think it would happen. I thought he was smarter than that. But he proved me wrong. Now all I can do is wait, keep myself busy, and hope I learn a lot from all this.

1 got sunburned

Japanese pick-up line

Posted by guia at 02:02 PM on March 28, 2005.

来年のこの日も、一緒に笑っていよう。(Rainen no kono hi mo, issho ni waratte iyou.)
"This time next year, let's be laughing together."

Sweet, ain't it?

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